FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

“Feel your feelings” Jenifer Lewis. What does this mean to you? Feel your feelings.

If your afraid recognize that! FEEL IT and move forward in the face of it.

If your sad or heart broken recognize it! FEEL IT and move forward in the face of it.

If your angry recognize it! FEEL IT! and move forward in the face of it.

When you don’t FEEL YOUR FEELINGS you take your feelings with you. Whether you realize it or not. You can not truly grow and excel as a person if you take your feelings with you. Its like a snowball rolling down mountain. When the snow ball rolls all it does it pick up more and more snow building layers upon layers and becoming destructive. And that is what take your feelings with you does. You become destructive to yourself and others. YOUR FEELINGS WILL CATCH UP TO YOU!

Instead treat yourself like you treat your car. When your car has a feeling it FEELS IT. It tells you to check your oil, or it shakes, or your brakes make an annoying noise. You recognize it and take of the cars feelings. You get it fixed so that it doesn’t feel that way anymore. But every car its FEELINGS come back and so will yours. So keep your maintenance schedule with yourself. Otherwise you will be on that long highway driving and then broken down on the side of the rode watching other cars past you by while you take care of your feelings because you neglected them.

I neglected my feelings.

Right now I am that car on the side of road. My feelings broke me down and now I have to fix them before getting back on the road. I have gone 24 years without FEELING MY FEELINGS. I burred my feelings to get by the situation and move forward with my plans with no distractions.

Find someone to talk to. If your like me your scared to talk about this with a friend or a parent. But I made a leap of faith and tried and it paid off. Friends can help you organize your feelings and break down your thoughts.

 

480th Hour of When I Got Fired

So much can be found in someone else’s words. So much can be learned when you learn how to learn. I am reading two excellent books at the moment; below:Image result for make it stick

I have watched inspirational radio shows and motivational speakers talk about how NOT to give up and when your down GET BACK UP. I am knocked down but I am getting back up.

I had to do some growing. By submerging my emotions I was taking them with me. As people we have to grow from the INSIDE OUT. Once the inside is grown then we can focus on the external factors that can help us grow in our career and relationships. Its a hard world out there and its not forgiving.

If you  have any great book suggestions please leave them in the comments!

Image result for how successful people grow

The Day I Got Fired

Have you ever had those days that last more than 24 hours? I am not talking like 48 hours or even 72 hours. I mean weeks upon weeks upon weeks.

On Monday, April 30th I was fired from my first job. Without warning. Without prior discussions of any behavior or performance that would lead to this. I worked in public accounting for a total of 9 months. My firm had just completed TAX SEASON. Now we all can assume what goes along with tax season.

Image result for tax season

No, not that kind of season. I mean TAX SEASON. Early mornings, late nights, endless cups of coffee, working Saturdays, and friends and family and asking if you are alive. I worked hard. I will be the first to admit I made mistakes. I was new and I was learning and I could feel myself getting the hang out. But fast forward to my nice long walk out of the office.

Image result for long walk

I said good bye to everyone I made strong relationships with and could bear to speak before my emotions took over and I could not speak. Advice ALERT. DO THIS! Saying bye to employees and not sneaking out the door shows you held your head high (personal satisfaction and gives no one power of over your emotional response). It also helps maintain relationships you may need or want later. You never know, this is a small world. Wouldn’t  it be awkward if I saw Eddy in a bar and he was like “your the kid that got fired right”. Yeah I did not want to have that awkward encounter.

The next 3 hours were so important. I called my room mate and told him the situation. I mean come on, were you thinking I would try to hide this from him. Am I supposed to put on a suit ever morning and leave the house just waiting around the block seeing when he leaves so I can come back inside. Yeah….NO. Tyler held me down. He talked me through this and became my therapists for what is now 408 hours since I was fired. I then called my girlfriend. As I told her my situation I am sure all she saw in her head was dead beat boyfriend who lost his job. And rightfully so. Who am I to tell her otherwise. I lost my good job just as we were planning our future together. But this is how you know you have a good partner. She was supportive, encouraging, and worried. Her words scare me but they motivate me and encourage me to keep going. My girl needs a gold medal, a spa day, and a Louis Vuitton bag.Crazy-Ex-Girlfriend-star-Wins-Golden-Globe-Award-media

So hour by hour goes on. I can not sleep. I have a multiple mental break downs. I call my friends and tell them whats going on. But staying positive is nearly impossible. I apply to job after job, talk to recruiter after recruiter. I am more exhausted sending applications and speaking with recruiters than during tax season, who would have thought that? I feel like I am in the damn unemployment line during the depression. And I am good guy. I am courteous, respectful, visit my grandma, assist my mother where she needs it, good brother, good boyfriend, and I always give something to a homeless man or women in need. One time food, another time water, another time an umbrella because it was raining. Like why me? SOMEONE HIRE!

ID77794_depression.0

So now I am officially in a rut. I can not eat, I can not even listen to music. There have two great albums out and all I want to listen to is the damn landscaping people cut the grass and trim the trees for some odd reason.

But wait!

I reached out to my network and landed an interview. Things were looking up. I prepared and prepared. Arrived to the building early to have breakfast in the restaurant below. Grabbed lunch with one of the employees then made my way to interview. I walked out feeling good. Knew I had it! Sent my thank you letters and counted the hours.  9 hours after the mail was sent my stomach dropped. I threw my hands over head and gave up. “We are moving forward”. 4 words to me meant “you suck dude, people out there are better and more worthwhile than you”. I wish I could say that is not true but IDK. I worked my ass off my whole life and I am still ready to work my ass off. Maybe this is the kicking around I needed. Or maybe this is God’s plan. Either way its hard to think of the positives.

3 hours later I exhausted my mentor. I mean this guy definitely wants to hang up the phone. I am talking 1,000 mph about my frustrations and my fears. He is trying to settle me down but that is not working. I am mad at the world, myself.

So now here I am; Hour…I do not even know. I present to you a boy. I am 24 years old, confused, frustrated, and building myself from the ground up. I lost my job, my confidence, and my girlfriends belief in me and our future. Were young we know that, but were worry warts and over thinkers. I am available immediately to work in the Providence, Boston or Greater Boston Area. I have experience in audit and tax (1041, 1120,and 1040). I am hardworking, determined, driven, organized, and attain the ability to overcome challenges.

Maybe in the next hour I will present you with a man.

But for now here is the boy, 425 hours after The Day He Got Fired